It Has Already Started

When we decided to adopt we bought our daughter Celine some books on adoption. We wanted her to be a part of the process and understand exactly what adoption meant. We read them often at bedtime It was a great way to open the doors of communication. One of these books is Rosie’s adoption. It is a story about a dog who is adopted into anther breed of dog’s family. It was one of Celine’s favorite.

Since we have been home with Tegegn we have occasionally read him these books and others about the differences of people. We really want to prepare our kids the best we can to the inevitable cruelty that will one day fall upon them.

A few nights ago we were all sitting on Tegegn’s bed reading Rosie’s adoption at bedtime, and when we got to the part of the story that talks about how Rosie’s friends sometimes question if her family is her “real family” Celine said “that happened to me at school”. I took a deep breath, prepared myself and asked her what happened. Now you should know a little about my children’s school. They go to a French immersion school in a predominantly Caucasian neighbourhood. It is a very small school in today’s world, so everyone knows Tegegn.

Celine started explaining how last week a boy in her school asked if Tegegn was her brother, to which Celine replied yes and thought nothing of it. Then recess came. She was playing with a group of her friends and another little girl ran over to her yelling “Celine come here”. I guess the little boy who originally asked her about Tegegn was telling other kids that Tegegn’ wasn’t really her brother. At that moment my heart sank. I think the knowledge of the questions, hurtful comments and ridicule that could possibly happen is the greatest fear for parents of multicultural families. As parents we do our best to bring our children up to know that all families are different in their own way, and ours is beautiful, but we would be naive to think that the entire world thinks the same way as us and that they will never feel the hurt of the words of racism or ridicule. This day was not that day though. I asked Celine what she said. She looked at me as if Duh mom…..”I said he was”. And that was it. As plain as that. Here’s hoping it will always be that easy…..