Mother's Day - the good, bad and painful

Today is the day that we celebrate mother's. I am lucky enough to have an amazing mother. One who always stands by me, loves me and tells me to follow my dreams. I am also fortunate enough to have a great step mother and mother in law. Both of whom I am very close to and admire a great deal.

Today like always I celebrate the day with my mother gardening. Yes, I put my mother to work on mother's day, but it has always been a day that we enjoy. I woke up with two little children yelling"happy mommy's day" in my ear, followed by many wonderful crafts, cards and special surprises that they made me. We then had a great breakfast and my mom came over for the gardening to begin. Now when I say gardening, I don't mean we plant a few flowers. I mean we dig up grass, move huge rocks and shovel wheelbarrels of dirt, all in the hopes that we can create some privacy in our backyard which is lined with chain link fence (yuck). We are exhausted by the end of the day, but we always have a wonderful meal that my husband prepares (or at least most of it).This year was a very special year as you can all imagine, because beside me were my 2 children helping. They dug, watered and of course stopped a lot to play on the trampoline.

By now our probably thinking where is the bad and the painful that the title refers to. Well that is about all the other mother's that I have been thinking about the past few days. The mothers that out of selfless love gave up their rights to their children so that they could have a better life, and the women who are mothers in their hearts. You see it was only last year, and the 3 before that I like many others spent mother's day in pain. Yes I had my wonderful daughter that I enjoyed so much and never took for granted, but there was a void, something missing. For many of my friends they went through this day with the pain I felt for many years. You see adoption and infertility robs you of this day. It is a reminder that you don't have what you long for so much. I can't speak about infertility because I fortunately never had to go through the heartache of the tests after tests, treatment after treatment and days of wondering if it will ever be, but I can speak to adoption. Like I have said so many times before on this blog, waiting adoptive parents are most often forgotten. People outside of the adoption world don't understand that from the minute we sign those adoption papers and are considered "waiting parents" in our minds and hearts we are parents already, just as when I women finds out she is pregnant. We have already fallen in love with the child in our hearts, with the one(s) we long to see the face(s) of. I have many friends in this situation as well as some battling infertility. So I guess to all mothers, and those who are mothers in their hearts already I say Happy Mothers Day!