Confession Friday

I confess that ……

I really like green licorice. The long thin kind that as a child I used for a skipping rope before I ate it. I think more stores should sell it. I would buy it

I have a hard time with people who have pity parties constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I feel that everyone deserves a day or two or period of time here or there to wallow in their own self pity, especially those going through adoption. God knows I’ve had my days in the past few years of adoption hell where I found myself curled up in a ball eating candy to comfort myself. I am talking about the people who are always saying “poor me”, or “why can’t my life be different” or my favorite “why me”……… AHHHHHHHHHH you create your life, you make your own existence. If you don’t like it change it, do something different, create something new, but stop complaining all the time.

I haven’t read a good book in a while, and I need to.

I’m a procrastinator with a lot of things. If I’m not passionate about doing something, I have a hard time getting started and I often put it off far too long.

I throw out my children’s school work that they bring home when they aren’t looking sometimes. I love the art that they do and I don’t want to crush their spirits but they just bring home sooooo much. We can only put so much on our fridge, so when they go to bed or up to their room, I throw some out.

That I still check the yahoo adoption site way too much. I still get so excited for people when I see a referral, or a passed court date or a VISA, and so sad and upset when a family get’s news that they don’t expect or have a hard time with the endless waits. I don’ t think those feelings will ever go away. Having lived through it, I think it’s incredible that one little phone call or lack of a phone call can instantly change someone’s life.

I have a hard time with electronics. My husband is constantly shaking his head when I try and turn something on. I mean really….. why can’t their just be one controller, and why is there so many buttons. I don’t have the patience for it all when it doesn’t work.

The Joy of Winter

I'm not a big fan of winter. I always say that I wasn't meant to be born in Canada. Don't get me wrong I love the country, and everything we have here but honestly is asking winter to be cut back to 2 months out of the year too much?

The past 6 years have been a little better. Watching and playing with my children outside having fun in the snow, learning to skate, tobogganing and this year snow boarding has made it a little easier to handle, but I have to say...... I would rather be watching them and playing with them in the sand of a hot, tropical climate.

Come on Spring...... Where are you?

Proud Mommy!

Last night I went out with a group of 3 other wonderful people I have met throughout my adoption process. 3 of us have brought our children home and 1 is still waiting for a referral. Whenever I get together with adoption mom’s I am so happy after. It’s always great to be able to speak to other people that know and have shared the experience of not only the ups and downs of adoption but also the experience of traveling to Africa. All 4 of us have been there (Ethiopia or other countries) for various lengths of time, but we all had the same impression. It was a life changing trip that we will never forget.
You can tell people over and over and over about the poverty you saw or the beauty of the people, but to witness it with your own eyes is an experience that I think every person should have. To watch a person dig through the garbage, get their water from a puddle at the side of the road or be so frail that they can hardly walk is a humbling experience. To explain the beauty of a smile on a child’s face when you give them a balloon or hand them a necklace that you brought from a dollar store is something that can not be put into words.

One of the things I have always said about being a parent is that I want my children to Experience the world as much as I am able to afford to them. By this I mean to not be sheltered. I want my children to be awear and see with their own eyes that we are LUCKY to live in a country like Canada. To know that there are places in the world that people don’t have running water, electricity and computers, but that this is OK as long as they are not suffering. I want them to know about different cultures and the history of different countries. And mostly I want them to be compassionate and want to help those who are suffering.

The other night Celine and Tegegn decided to make a store. They took different items from our house and asked Darryl and I to come shopping, so we did. I decided that I wanted to buy a stuffed dog and Cat and a blanket so that they would have something to sleep on. I handed them my pretend money, and to my surprise they said “no mom, at this store we only take real money”…… so I gave in and handed them $2.00. Next came Darryl. He decided to buy everything else at the store. After negotiating he paid them $3.00, which was a far cry from the $80.00 they said they wanted.

Now during this process I suspected that Celine was just trying to get more money to save for her Pokemon cards that she wants and was taking her brother along for the ride, but NO. I was so proud of her when after cleaning up the store she walked over to me and said.
“mom, when are you sending more money over to Ethiopia for Chance for Change”. I said I’m not sure when the next time is. She reached into her pocket and took out the money that She and Tegegn just made from there store and said “ Please add this to it. We want to help the people in Ethiopia”. My heart melted. How proud am I?

I'm Back - New and Maybe Improved

Well, I thought I was done blogging. I had every intention of being done. I didn't feel like I had anything to write about. I mean we are a normal everyday family, but I have to say; I read a lot of blogs and I realized that I missed blogging. So I AM BACK. I will be honest. I don't really know what I am going to write about or if anyone will read it, but I enjoy it, so I'm going to do it.

What I have realized is that I'm a dreamer. I have a lot of dreams (too many sometimes), but some of these dreams I have turned into reality. So what better then that to write about, as well as my adorable, cute, loving children.

One of the things a lot of blogs I read have been doing is Confession Fridays. I love this idea so I'm stealing it. Here it goes.

I confess that the highlight of my day was getting an e-mail from my friend L telling me that after 9 (not a typo) court dates her little boy legally became her son. I started crying and shaking just like the day I got my phone call.

I confess that I talk to much. Anyone who has ever met me knows this, and I know it. I once bought myself a t-shirt that read "Help me I started talking and can't shut up". I have tried to stop but I realized that that will never happen, so now I just own it. I mean if you can't laugh at your own issues and downfalls what can you laugh at.

I confess that I have had the same wallet for at least 15 years. My good friends try to get me to buy a new one but I don't.

I confess that half of the reason I don't buy a new wallet is because I like the reaction I get from my friends when they see I still have it.

I confess that my dad is my hero. Along with my husband he is the best man I know.

I confess that I love New Kids On the Block. I hated high school and I think that they are the one thing I remember about it that I liked. My friend and I went to 3 of their concerts last year (had tickets for a 4th, but left for Ethiopia) and we stood up and screamed throughout the entire show just like we did when we were 15.

I confess that I am very proud of Tegegn today. He got the student of the month award for learning two languages and following routines. Not bad for someone who has only been in school since October.

I confess that my bucket list is so long, that I know I won't get to do everything on it, but I plan on trying to.

I confess I love sour keys a little to much. I rarely buy them, because if I do I will eat them until my mouth hurts and I can't taste my food for days after.

THE END

I started this blog almost 1 year ago. A few days after one of the greatest days of my life. Our referral day.That was the day that I was sitting in my office at work when the call that changed my life came. That was the day that I got to see the picture of the little boy that I had been dreaming about, loving and planning for for years. That was the day that I knew life as I knew it was over.

Since then so many things have happened and I have been able to share some of those moments with the friends, family and total strangers that read this blog. I don't really know how many of you there are, but I appreciate all the comments both "on and off the record".

December was a great month for the Laferriere family. There was of course, Tegegn's first snowmen, which turned into an entire snowman family. We stopped at the dogs because we had no idea how to make them stand up. He got to experience his first Christmas, and no he wasn't afraid of Santa. And we are very close to finishing his room. This was something that was very important to me to let him be a part of. Before he came home, we bought a bed, a shelf and a blanket that was it. He picked out his new rug, pictures for the walls, light ect... Now it represents him. Our fun loving, always singing and smiling son that loves the movie Cars. He is honestly a joy to be around.

Tegegn has brought so much to our lives. Watching Celine as a big sister brings tears to my eyes. She is so sweet and caring. She is always wanting to teach him something and is the first person to say good job Tegegn when his figures something out for the first time. I was scared that having a younger brother would change her, and it has, but in a wonderful way. He also makes me enjoy the mornings more. I am not a morning person, but it is very hard to be in a grumpy mood when you wake up to his little voice saying Good morning, I love you mommy. I melt.......

Traveling to Ethiopia to pick up Tegegn changed me forever. I will never forget the poverty that we left behind there, and the faces of all the children. It is what has motivated me to turn 52 scarves into a charity that I am happy to say made $5600 in the first 3 months. We have been able to start renovations on the washrooms facilities at the school we are supporting and so far have paid for 35 children to attend school by paying for their uniform and yearly school fees. It has been a much harder process then I originally thought. The government of Ethiopia doesn't make it easy. They tell you that you must have an office, employ a certain amount of people, do work in certain areas ect..... so it took longer then what we thought, cost more then we thought to start up, but it's working and we are excited about where it will go. We have had alot of good support from friends, family, people I've met in the adoption community and total strangers.

I started this blog for two reasons. After our referral I had a lot of people asking me what was next. I thought that the easiest way to get the information out and only have to tell the story once was on the net. So here we are a year later. He is home and we feel like we are a regular family now. I am back at work, our kids go to school, swimming, karate, soccer, we eat dinner together every night, go to our cottage and live a normal life. The second reason was to be able to let Tegegn know how I was feeling during this year. This is my journal for him to read and know the story, reasons and feelings I had while going through this process.

So, This is it! I don't know how many of you there are out there reading this, but thank you. Thank you for letting me do this. I never thought of myself as someone who would enjoy putting their life out there for total strangers to read, but I have made some wonderful friends through this blog, and it's been a lot of fun. I will leave you with some of my favorite pictures throughout this year.

The Month Of November

The month of November has been a busy, happy and exciting month. I turned 33, Tegegn experienced snow for the first time, went to the butterfly conservatory and started on the regular schedule at school, Chance for Change is growing and keeping me busy and Darryl and I bought and started renovating a new rental property. WOW when I put it in writing it seems even busier then I thought it was.

The decision to put Tegegn in school already was a tough one, but when Darryl and I thought about it, it made sense. He does well with routine, wanted to go where his sister was going, and in our minds was ready. He is doing really great. Like I have said in the past, we didn't have many attachment issues, so he doesn't feel like we are abandoning him when he get's on the bus, and is starting to make friends and understand the routine at his school.

Chance for Change is doing great. We have been getting a lot of support from friends, family, adoption community, strangers, actually everyone which is great. We have realized that getting the charity started on the Ethiopia side of things is a little bit more complicated then we were lead to believe originally, so things there aren't up and going yet, but hopefully with a little more time and effort it will all work out.

The butterfly conservatory was a great time. Tegegn loved chasing the butterflies but couldn't understand why they wouldn't stay still and let him catch them He was amazed by the bird who would sit still on the kids and thought it was really great to see so many birds eating in one place. He saw snow for the first time and it was magical. Everyone who knows me knows that I don't love the winter. Actually I wouldn't have a problem living without it (except for about a week around Christmas), but this year is different. When Tegegn woke up the first day there was snow on the ground his excitement made it all worth it. He couldn't believe that it was in the front yard and the back yard. He kept running from door to door to make sure what he was seeing was real. We were outside in our "snowman suits", which is what he lovingly calls his snowsuit before 8:00am making his first snow angles and having a snow ball fight. This was probably the most amazing "first" I got to see.

Emotionally, the shock and disbelief that he is actually here is fading. He has been with us going on 6 months and it feels so right. I did have a moment the other day when it all came back though. I was Christmas shopping. I was in the boys clothing section looking for an outfit for him and tears started rolling down my face. I couldn't believe that I was actually shopping for my little boy that was actually in my house. This was the first Christmas in 3 years that I wasn't standing there saying to myself "it's ok, next year I will be able to buy boys clothes". This year I actually was. This Christmas morning all 4 stockings will be down and filled. Santa will finally have 2 children to bring presents to at the Laferriere house. It's been a long hard road to get here, but we are complete.

My New Adventure

When Darryl and I decided to adopt internationally I knew that I couldn't walk away from my child's birth country without doing more. I have always wanted to be involved with International development and knew that I wanted to give back to the country that gave me the greatest gift imaginable; my son. I wasn't sure how I was going to do this or to what degree, but I knew that I needed to do something. Having spent a little time in Ethiopia, it doesn't take long to realize the devastation of the country. There is very little health care, social systems, a serious issue with the education system, sanitation problems and the list goes on and on. The one thing that Ethiopia has is a lot of is people that want a better life. Everywhere you go there are people trying to make a living in any way possible. One of the places we visited was a weaving shop. Here they made beautiful hand made scarves which they sold to locals that would then mark them up and sell at a market, or to the few tourists that travel to Ethiopia. When we went into the shop I knew that there was a market in Canada for these (and the ideas began to flow....). What if we could sell these in Canada? We would be supporting Ethiopia by employing people. What a great thing to be able to do. We could then send the money back to the country by the way of supporting projects needed within the country.

So I decided to bring scarves back with us and see, so 52 came home with us. Another amazing organization doing work in Addis Ababa is an NGO that trains handicap and blind people to make a variety of things. One of the things are really cute child backpacks and once again the ideas started, so 6 came home with us. The last thing was coffee. Coffee is the backbone of the Ethiopian economy. It is the best in the world, and part of everyday life for the Ethiopians, so 30 bags made the trip to Canada.

I wasn't sure how this was all going to play out, but I thought, oh well if it doesn't work at least I've helped the local economy a little. When I arrived home I told a few good friends and family about my idea and they were on board.

On July 27, 2010 CHANCE FOR CHANGE INTERNATIONAL OUTREACH received charitable status from the Ontario government.

Great, so we have all this product, we have a name........now what. Well we got to work. We started telling people and in a few weeks we ordered 120 more scarves and 25 more backpacks, and we started developing our marketing plan. Now we needed to decide where the money was going to to.

Having spent a few weeks in Ethiopia gave me some time to make some connections with people there. I was lucky enough to be able to start a relationship with two Ethiopians that already have a name in the Canadian adoption community, and therefore I know are trustworthy, so I asked them where they thought the money would be best spent. There response was "money is needed everywhere". Not a lot of help, but it is the truth. We knew as an organization we wanted to help children and try to change their lives for the long term, not just a band aid solution. And in the end we thought the best way was through education.

Education in Ethiopia and I believe in most developing countries is not only a way to a better job and therefore life, but also the only way for some to get basic information about general health education, sex education and a healthy meal.

An average wage for 80 % of working Ethiopians is between 10-30 birr a day, which is $0.61 - $1.82 Canadian (depending on where you live and your job). School costs approx 100 Birr per year depending on the school. The thing that is most astonishing is the price of the school uniform. The cost is between 185-250 Birr per child $11.21 - $15.15 Canadian depending on the school. I don't think I have to point out the obvious problem. How can families afford to send their children. The answer is most can not. If they can somehow scrap together the 100 Birr per year, they can not afford the uniform, so their children do not go or they rotate the uniform. So in a family with 4 children, the children would go once every 4 days. If you add this to the estimated 5 Million orphans in the country you come up with a huge amount of uneducated youth.That is the reason why Chance for Change International Outreach decided to send all of our proceeds to help youth become educated.

We are doing this in a few ways. We have decided to sponsor a school about 40KM outside the capital city Addis Ababa in a city called Alemgena. The cost of living there is higher then in Rural Ethiopia because of the proximity to the capital, and therefore education is an even larger problem. We are currently working with the school to decide what is most needed and therefore what our first project with them will be. We also want to help children that can not afford to be schooled get to school. The way we have decided to do this is through our T-shirt Campaign.

We have had t-shirts printed with our Chance For Change Logo on them, and have marked them up the cost of a school uniform. Therefore every t-shirt sold directly sends a child to school. We are selling them for $20.00 for toddler or youth and $25.00 for adult sizes. We are very happy to report that since we have started actively selling our products about 3 weeks ago, we have not only already made $1600.00, but are also sending 10 children to school. Yehhhhhhhhhh

Hopefully by now, whoever is reading this is excited and wants to know where to purchase things. Well we currently have a facebook page http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Chance-for-Change-International-Outreach/144599875584686 (sorry it's so long, we need 100 fans before we get our short URL code) which we are currently setting up our store on. Our website will be coming soon, but for now you could just e-mail me at chanceforchange@hotmail.ca, or come and see us at one of our events. We are currently at the Kitchener Market in Ontario every Saturday from now until Christmas, and host home parties. Our scarves seem to be the most popular and can only be bought in person because they are each hand made and individual. Below are some pictures of our products. I hope you like them and want to support us to make the lives of some Children in Ethiopia and with any luck other developing nations a little brighter. This is our Chance for Change....